Gatekeeper to horny pensioners

My store has 3 different entrances. 2 front entrances and a back entrance. When I open the store I usually start with the back entrance.

This morning when I opened the store there was an elderly gentleman waiting at the back door. I let him in and said " I'll be right with you" and went and opened the two front doors.

When I got to the front counter I expected to find him there waiting for me but he wasn't there. One quick look at the security camera showed him standing exactly where I had left him

So I had to go get him and bring him to the counter.
I wonder how long he would've waited by the back door for me to " be right with him"

George**the gatekeeper to horny pensioners

fruits love veggies

I often find large vegetables in the sex lounge that some poor soul has used as a dildo. my favorite so far was when i found half a cucumber with a condom on it!
HALF!
what happened to the other half? did they make a salad with it? did they slice it up and make a relaxing eye mask? tzadziki?

I also like to imagine their trip to the green grocer. What are they thinking as they peruse the vegetables looking for the best one to shove up their ass.

Tonight it was a carrot! A BIG ASS carrot!

as i cleaned the sex lounge i sang to myself
"someone shoved a carrot up their ass tonight! oh they shoved it up their ass! did they shove it up their ass?...oh yes they did, oh yes they did!"

"Oooh...Yeah..." - Greg Scarnici & Mario Pando

awesome new shoes

These shoes arrived in the mail today! i am awesome in my papa bear shoes!!!!

Homemade dildo.

I was cleaning the gaysex club at work when i noticed something strange. well stranger that usual. Tied to a table leg in one of the rooms was what looked like a big black snake.

Upon further inspection i realized it was a dildo. but not one from the store. no this was an old fashioned HOME MADE DILDO!!!

The gays had taken crumpled up newspaper and old dirty socks and shoved them into a condom creating a HOME MADE DILDO!!!!
they then tied this onto the table leg (presumably so they could back up onto it).

First i tried to untie it from the table leg so i could throw it away.
But the gays had tied it too tightly!
so then i had to go get a sharp knife and actually hack away at the sock material until the HOME MADE DILDO came free.

If i was starring in my on t.v. show about my life this would've been the point where i would look directly into the camera and say

"it was at this point i really started questioning the direction my life had taken"

that is all for now

George

The Grates - 19-20-20

The Grates - Carve Your Name

the grates

this is my favorite aussie band. In one way they so remind me of my punky/gothy youth. But as a 32 year old im happy to find i can enjoy music just because it makes me want to dance around like an idiot!

I have also had the pleasure of seeing them live. I have never been a big concert person but they rocked my socks off live!
this is a small piece of Australia that makes us awesome!


i give you the grates

p.s. you know how you buy a bands cd for one song. well i own all their music and EVERY song is super awesome!!!! and i think all their CD,s are so awesome i actually BOUGHT them from the STORE!!!!

The Grates - Aw Yeah

supreme awesomeness

My manager at work went on holidays for 2 weeks so i was the acting manager while he was away. To thank me he got me a t-shirt with this on it!

ROCK OUT WITH YOUR COCK OUT!!!!

the hiney can

At work we sell this product called the hiney can. Its a fake pussy and ass that comes in a container looking like the beer. HILARIOUS!!!!!!

we had 3 in the store and at 80$ couldnt get rid of them. So we reduced the price to 35$. After a week i finally sold one.

The guy had been in a few times looking at the masterbators. He was in his late 20s and pretty hot. But he seemed very shy and straight. Of course when i get customers who are shy in the sex store i try to put them at ease. Make them laugh and joke around with them ect.
im a professional smutt pusher after all.


So we joke around and he eventually buys a hiny-can. Cut to 40 min later when i recieve a phonecall.
"um yeah, hi... i was in there earlier and bought that hinycan from you"
"sure i remember you"
"well listen its not really working"
"um what do you mean"? i say
"well its too tight.... i cant get my dick into it"

"have you lubed it up"? i say

"yeah... i dont know if im not hard enough or if my cock is to big or what. But i cant get it in"
"ummm have you tried pulling the fleshy part out of the can" I say
"ummm hold on" he says


....really! your doing this while were on the phone! ...REALLY!!!"

"mabye your not hard enough or else your dick is simply too big" I say (what am i doing here)

"oh hold on " he says

then there is about 2 min of pregnant silence to which point i have to say
"well i hope you figure it out.......anyways i have to go now"
click


I wonder if people who work at K-mart deal with this sort of customer service senarios?

Canadian hospitality or drunken stupidity

its 2 am and im drunk and out of smokes.
so i saunter my way up to the garage (gas station) to buy some.

on the way home i find a young man passed out in the gutter. well dressed..maybe early 20s....cute...

I walk past and then catch myself. "its cold out tonight... i cant really leave this guy without making sure he's o.k........ "

"wake up: i say as i push him...
after several minutes of pushing him he stumbles to his feet.

"do you know where you are" I ask?

"umm i live near rundle street"

"rundle street is far from here... where are your friends?"

....and heres where im sucked in

"they are all on granville street"


...........................

"um dude granville street is in vancouver" (am i tripping , thats my hometown)

"your in adelaide"

"oh yeah....i live in rundle street"

"are you from vancouver"?

"yeah but i live on rundle street"

"where are your friends"?

"in Vancouver" he says and looks confused and sad

I hail a cab and get him to tell me his rundle street address... I then pay the cab driver 12$ to take him there

"arent you coming with me" he asks

"dude i dont even KNOW you" i say

and damn he was cute. apparently....at 32.... i have morals.
Morals i did NOT have at his age.

Talk dirty to me

sometimes people call me at work. Mostly its to ask what stripper is working or how many people are in the GaySex lounge (I dont know!!!!!! stop asking me!!!)

But every once in awhile I get someone who calls to talk dirty to me.
This never fails to amuse me!
it usually starts innocently enough

"Ring Ring"


Me- "Dirty Porn store this is george speaking"

Caller- "um yes... how much is your gay sex lounge?"

Me- "its 11Dollars to get in."

Caller- "and what happens in there?"

Me- "Its a cruise lounge where men cruise other men for sex"

Caller - "and what type of facilities does it have"?

Me- "its fairly basic. Its a series of rooms with couches and wrestling mats and there is gay porn playing in the rooms"

Caller- "is there a glory hole"?

Me- "yes! there is a glory hole in the bathroom"

Caller- "ohhhh my cock is getting hard just thinking about it.And im dripping so much precum. Are there many people in there right now?"

Me- "Theres a few guys in there"

Caller- "i want a guy to shove something up my ass in there. can he do that in there"

Me- "you can do whatever you want in there. we also sell a vareity of dildos and sex toys here"

caller- "oh really! Thats making my cock so hard!!! How big are the dildos?"

Me- "they vary from normal to really really big"

Caller- (rustling sounds) I like it really big Mmmmmm my cock is so hard right now.... do you ever go in there?"

Me- "sometimes to clean it"

Caller - Would you go there with me"

Me- "sorry we dont mess around with the customers"

Caller "how late are you open to?"

Me- "12 am....anyways i gotta get back to work. Nice chatting with you"
click



These conversations can go up to 10 min depending on my mood.

I love that these people are so desperate that they are calling the porn store to get their rocks off.

Ahhh well at least it makes my day go faster

Some of my art

Swine Flu

Boy Girl party